Checklist, I've got my eye on you!

I'm the worst blogger ever lately, I know. I swear it's not because I'm preggo and all of sudden have run out of IF and other life musings. I still have it, I swear!! But work has been so busy, that I barely have time to read blogs, much less come up with my own poetic musings. I've tried to be good about commenting on other blogs even if it's just "Woot, woot!" or the "You go girl!" variety - my heart is there, if not the time, to do my usual wordy blathering.

Speaking of work, I felt bad complaining about my job and how the execs seem to be purposely setting us up not to get bonuses in my last post. It IS totally smarmy of them (and typical) but, God, I know how lucky I am. To have a good job, to have a good husband with a good job, to have -- against every single predictor in the universe, including that damn Ovarian Reserve Index test in the Summer of 2008 that give me a score of 1 out of 30 (worst score) -- be pregnant now especially when I tried to demand moving on to donor eggs after my second loss last September and the only reason Bug is inside me right now is because my crazy RE refused to give up on my eggs.

Both of my parents are very much glass-half-empty kind of folks and I always grew up, in a rebellious way and then it just became a part of me, determined to see things as glass half-full and that last post was way too whiny in the face of the community that reads this blog (i.e. shut up and stop complaining, pregnant lady) and also in the face of this economy. So, no more whining on that front. I'm sure I'll complain about work again in the future, because my company is seriously screwed up, but I won't complain about not getting a bonus because it seems too petty in the face of everything personal and global going on right now. Besides, it wasn't really about the money anyway, it was about the big guy screwing the little guy. Moneywise, somehow we find ourselves as fine. DH and I had started our donor egg fund late last year, rejiggering our 401k contributions and funnelling almost all of our extra money to savings and earmarking our tax refund for DE. Unbelievably-- just maybe -- it seems like we might not have to use that nest egg for DE, at least not right now, so we find ourselves with a happily padded savings account, Suze Orman would be proud! I'm not counting this chick before she hatches, but it is nice to think that maybe we'll have enough money saved up to send her to one month of college in the year 2028 ;).

So anyhoo, today was the famous item #10 on the Pending Cartwheel list, our 13-week viability ultrasound over which I had to mud wrestle the front-desk ladies at my OBGYN's office. It was at the same ultrasound facility that gave me the bad news on Peanut last September, the only other time I had ever been there. I got to the area an hour early and wanted to grab lunch ahead of time and with some sort of flipping the bird at karma, I purposely choose the same Vietnamese restaurant that NG and I went to after I got the news on Peanut last year where I cried into my uneaten Cha Gio rolls the whole time. I knew I'd be freaked out going into that clinic at all, so I figured in for a dime, in for a dollar.

Well, guess what? Another checkmark! :) Bug looked great, though admittedly very alien-like when full frontal, on the ultrasound. He/she was squirming around like crazy that the doctor had a hard time getting a good photo, but we finally got a couple. I had this crazy idea that I was going to ask if it was OK to to videotape the u/s on my phone so that I could show NoodleGuy and also all of you guys but I was way too gaga over watching the screen and, I admit, too intimidated to ask the male doctor if it was OK. If it had been a female doc, I probably would have asked, but I felt like a male wouldn't understand the request and lost the verve to be the crazy, pushy patient, a role I normally fulfill with ease.

It turned out to be the exact same radiologist who did my scan last time. I found him very cold and awkward last time but this time he was great. Maybe I was not of the mood to judge him fairly last time, maybe he doesn't do well with bad news. All I know was that he was awesome this time -- before he started the scan he told me that he remembered me and that he was so happy to see me back again. He said that he'd tell me the second he could determine anything, and as soon as he started the scan, he immediately said "Strong heartbeat, yay!" with a big smile and squeezed my knee. It makes me verklempt to even type that, it was so sweet. He proceeded to scan for a while long, showing me all sorts of shots of the brain, spine, waving arms, alien-face. We had a hard time getting shots of the legs, of course leading me to worry about Bug's lower extremities, but I'm trying to be rational and assume that they were just curled under, like the doc suggested.

Presenting....Bug!


So Pending Cartwheel list - you are down to one!

1. Beta #1 (12/29 - 13dpo): 242 - check!
2. Beta #2 (1/2 - 17dpo): 1,206 - check!
3. Beta #3 (1/7 - 22dpo): 8,848 - check!
4. Ultrasound #1 (1/13): 6 weeks - check!
5. Ultrasound #2 (1/20) - 7 weeks - check!
6. Ultrasound #3 (1/29) - 8w2d - check!
7. Ultrasound #4 (2/10) - 10 weeks. I have never made it this far before. - check!
8. First appt with OBGYN (2/11) - 10w1d - check!
9. Genetic counseling + 1st trimester screening (2/17) - check! (risk reduced to 1/1,000)
10. Viability ultrasound 13 weeks (3/4) - check!
11. 2T scan/maybe amnio @ 17 weeks (@ 3/30)