Terrified

Sorry, this is going to sound like it's written by a robot. I may be in the process of miscarrying and my DH is on a two-hour run training for the marathon and no one else knows about the pregnancy, so I'm typing it here.

I was shopping in Stop & Shop just about an hour ago. I only needed to pick up bananas, salad and bagels. As I pick up the bananas, I felt a huge gush come out of you-know-where. I knew this wasn't good, but I tried not to panic and just grab what I needed and keep going, because I'm insane. I grabbed a bag of salad, another gush. I ran down the salad dressing aisle, picked up a bottle of Newman's Own Oil & Vinegar and couldn't pretend what was happening wasn't happening any more as the gushing continued. I stuck my hand down my pants and it was covered in blood. I abandoned my cart and ran out of the store.

I hyper-ventilated on the way home, about a 12 minute drive. I got here and as soon as I stood up to get out of the car, it started gushing again. I sat down on the toilet and I passed a big chunk of tissue, though I couldn't see it through all the blood in the toilet. I called my clinic and they told me that they'd have the nurse on-call call me back ASAP. I felt like it took an hour, but she called me in 20 minutes. It was my own beloved nurse, not the random drunken-weekend-nurse, so I suspect that may have been the delay, that they were trying to get to my own nurse. She was very kind and calm on the phone, I explained everything that happened. She asked if I was still bleeding heavily since passing the tissue and I said I was not, which she said was good. She confirmed that even though they said the most likely scenario for Baby B would be that my body would resorb the sac and contents, that depending on the location and age and other factors, that you could miscarry by passing Baby B's tissue and Baby A could be fine.

They have me coming in for and u/s and appt first thing tomorrow morning. I'm to go to the local ER if the bleeding picks up again. I'm terrified and numb. I knew we'd likely lose Baby B, so I'm OK with that. Sad, but I can't think about that right now being so scared for Baby A. Please send prayers to Baby A to still be there and to be strong.