Hello today!

Hi ladies -- my apologies for not posting much lately. A few of you have dropped me lines checking in and I'm so happy that they're of the "saying hi!" variety these days and not the "checking if you're OK" ones - I've turned a corner! ;)

I have no excuse for not posting except that not much is happening. Now TOMORROW will be a big day of posting: I have my 2T screen, possible gender determination and a likely amnio. I've been so back and forth on the amnio. If you recall, after my 2nd miscarriage, I swore that I would get a CVS as soon as I could with any baby with whom I was lucky enough to get pregnant because I just knew any egg of mine was a ticking time bomb. Well, my beloved RE did not like the idea of a CVS, he said he considered it risk for risk's sake - i.e. you should have a damn good reason for it besides survivor's guilt - and strongly advised me to opt for an amnio instead. He said that although the stats say the m/c rate for CVS is @ 1/200 and amnio is 1/400, that amnio is really more like 1/1,400 if done by an experienced professional. The hospital where I will deliver and am having these tests is the #1 rated OBGYN/Women's Health department in the entire country, so I feel pretty confident in their testing. And I really would, after my history and given my age, like to know 100% definitively where we stand and what to expect at birth. I know me and I know I'll worry even if the 2T scan is as good as the 1T NT scan.

So, we go in tomorrow morning at 8am for the 2T ultrasound. Then we discuss the findings with our genetic counselor and then NoodleGuy and I can decide on the spot whether to have an amnio or not. I'm clearly leaning toward it, but I think NG likes the idea of reduced risk (he's a systems analyst by trade, it comes naturally). And truly, I would murder myself with a chainsaw if anything happened to this baby because I needed more assurance. So, we'll come back from tomorrow's scan with a 50/50 chance of having had the amnio or not. It's truly up in the air right now. I say I want it, but it the 2T scan looks great and our risks further reduce and the counselor brings out her scary 1/400 risk of m/c chart again, I may not have the verve to push on.

The strange thing is, having an amnio used to be automatic for women over 35. My mom had an amnio at age 40 with my younger sister 22 years ago and no one batted an eyelash. These fancy Quad Screens are relatively new and if you were over 35, your doctor scheduled you for an amnio, barely any discussion. Now the additional testing give us so much flexibility but also more responsiblity in the decisions. Oy - somebody just tell me what to do!

In other news, I almost posted this insomnia-induced rant two weeks ago regarding my job and the manager merry-go-round they had me on, moving me to a new manager I didn't like and with poor plans to fill in the other people leaving the department. I wound up not posting it because I was afraid someone at work might stumble upon it. But the following morning, my current manager (for 2 more weeks) and big boss came through with their promise to do anything they could to keep me happy: I sent them a proposal for a modified version of my job (more marketing-centric) and to move into the marketing department (thereby leaving my old department on the heels of my current manager). Anyway, they really liked the idea, spoke to my potential new manager who loved the idea, spoke to the ex-new-manager who would have had me in the department and he was fine with losing me as long as I did a transition and I've officially been moved to the new job that I proposed, yay! It's actually a good thing in the long run, I keep alot of the stuff that I like about my current job (web development) but will take on more of a planning & marketing role where I actually help decide how to market things and then go off and build them. It's good growth, I think, for me and my new manager is someone I've worked closely with over 5 years whom we both had alot of mutual respect and even friendliness with each other. I'll miss my current boss who is one of the easiest and nicest guys in the world, but we'll still work pretty closely, I think, so the dust just needs to settle.

Anyway, job?Check! Baby? So far, check (heartbeat remains nice and strong and easy to find on my doppler). Testing? Tune in tomorrow...