Apologies

Oh, blogosphere, I owe you a big apology. I don't even know where to start. So many things have been happening, so I've been swamped. But it's mostly been that I have a few RL friends that read my old blog and I wasn't ready to share the news with RL people and was so incredibly slow about moving everything over to a new blog.

Anyhoo, the big news is... I'm pregnant!!!! On a break cycle! Me, the woman who only ever mustered one single follie on 15 days and hiroshima doses of stims for IVF. I got pregnant on the cycle AFTER by last IVF BFN. WTF?? We weren't even trying!! Sure, I was temping, but that was just to see what my cycles were doing leading into IVF#2 in September. But we drank like sailors and ate like crack addicts and though we BDed, it was the fun kind not the get-your-preseed, assume-the-most-penetrating-position-regardless-of-pleasure-or-comfort kind. Then, unbeknownst to me, on the day that my eggie was getting down with DH's swimmers, I had a minor surgical procedure. Finally I went mountain biking (and continued to drink like a sailor) over a long weeked when implantation was taking place. Go me! Do everything wrong and it worked!

My only ever other BFP was a bitterwsweet one. I never really gained steam and we knew from the betas that it was most likely doomed: 12.5 at 14dpo, 60 at 17dpo and 246 at 20dpo. So I went in with trepidation this time and the betas rocked. 299 at 15dpo and 2,087 at 20dpo. The 6-week u/s measured at 5w5d (not unusual for that weirdo LMP dating technique to be off by a couple of days for a natural pregnancy) and though I was warned that many people don't see a h/b until 6.5-7 weeks, there it was, going strong, at 117bpm! Oh, I forgot to mention that I've been spotting since week 4. Not the "safe" brown spotting, but the dreaded red spotting with little solid flecks. I was fairly calm when it first started leading up to a nervous breakdown the day before my u/s. I drove an hour to the clinic, determined to make them test me on the spot. And they would have, but my nurse convinced me that it was OK, the signs were not unusual. Plus, I would have have to go with Dr. Dirtbag instead of my beloved RE scheduled for the next day. So I waited and it was great.

So, now, of course, I'm panicking again. The spotting continued through earlier this week, until a lovely bout of diarrhea seemed to have traumatized nether regions enough to behave with the spotting for the past few days. Oh, and that unpleasant bathroom experience was not random, but from a cruise to the caribbean I'd been on for the past week. Never did I want to take a vacation less -- crazy IF lady must fly, drive 5 hours to a port, cruise to Swine Flu central for 7 days and then travel the reverse just as she finds out she's 6 weeks pg and spotting. Nice! The cruise was fun and blessedly relaxing (will post pix soon) but with the worries + the bathroom issues, I was never so happy to get home this Monday.

Now for a little dose of reality...my happy news is somewhat off-set that on this very same day of hearing my only ever great beta, I finally tracked down my lame PCP to get the results of a breast biopsy I had a few weeks ago. I've been trying to get the results for a week. FINALLY they called me back (thanks for nothing) and said the results showed some atypical cells, stressed that they did NOT think it was cancer. Long story short, after pow-wowing with a breast surgeon and my RE several times, we've decided to go ahead and have the area removed (out-patient surgery) as soon as I enter the 2nd trimester. The area may very likely not progress any further or be offset by the increased progesterone now in my system -- I will post later on about my theories that the high fertility stims I've been on may have caused this problem. But anyway, though surgery while pregnant is not ideal, this isn't a major one. It'll be local anethesia + sedation instead of general anesthesia, which is good. And we all decided that getting the area out + allowing me not to worry about it for the next 14 months (pregnancy + nursing) was more important than the very small chance that something could go wrong. Not an easy decision, but once it was made, it felt like the right one.

So... whew!! That's my story. I have a 2nd u/s tomorrow morning (8w1d). It should have been at 7 weeks or so but I was on that poop-inducing cruise. So, it's been 2.5 weeks since my last u/s with continued spotting and I'm pretty nervous for tomorrow. But determined to think positively.